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The Psychology Of Acceptance
Rereading yesterday's article and wanting to dig deeper into acceptance, I realized that I forgot one thing that comes with acceptance. It might be the best thing that can ever happen to you. Once you accept your reality, it will bring you inner peace.
Most people don't realize this but when they can't, don't, or refuse to accept reality, you are fighting with yourself and it hurts you way more than it might hurt someone else. There's a lot of things in life that are out of one's control. These can be sports related that I talked about in my previous article, like old age and roles within a team, but what about ways that acceptance can bring you inner peace in your everyday life? I want to talk about two categories in life, that you will always find yourself having to accept things that you really don't want to.
The first one is with family. Being a part of a family will always have its challenges. It doesn't have to be a biological family either. As a child there are a lot of things that you don't have power over. A few are, who stays and goes in your life, how your parents treat you, and what adults do and say to you. These things change in every household across America and change across the world. But these same things all have an effect on how we grow up to see the world and how we see ourselves. When growing up and we become adults we have to learn to accept the things that were said to us, done to us, who stayed and who left us, and finally accepting these people as who they are. If we don't, we often find ourselves punishing the people who might have left us and hurt us at an early age. We also try to change these people into who we want them to be and not who they are. This then affects us when we grow up and we have family and relationships of our own. Holding this hatred in only brings us pain and hurt to ourselves even if we think it's hurting and punishing others. Accepting the past, doesn't mean what these people did was right or that it was okay for them to do it. It is to help you heal and understand how your past has affected you up until this point in time. When you learn to accept, you change your own life so when you have a family, you can be better and do better than what was said, given, and done for you.
The second thing is friendships. Most of the friends you have in your life, just don't last and that isn't because you hate each other or because something dramatic has happened for it to end. When both people start living their own lives, most of the time it takes them in two different directions. This happens to a lot of people and when it does like at then end of high school or when you graduate college and both of you start to get your first jobs. It can be very hard to accept what is happening at that moment. After the memories you and your friend had made together and everything you two experienced together it is very hard just to accept that things will never be the same again. Not accepting this can bring resentment towards the friend on them moving forward with your life and it can also make you want to hurt them for it. When this happens, you must realize that this is natural in everyone's life and that they aren't doing this to hurt you but because they are doing what's best for them at this moment. Instead of dreading what the future holds, look back in happiness and rejoice on all of the happy and wonderful moments both of you got to share together.
Looking and dealing with both of these categories of life can be very hard to look at and even harder to accept. When we learn to accept these situations for what they are and what they have been, we stop fighting with these people externally and we stop fighting with ourselves internally. Doing this brings us peace and the ability to move on in life and from these situations with our heads up and understanding within ourselves to make our future brighter and more positive.
P.S. A good exercise for accepting is taking a walk in their shoes. Look at how they were treated as a child, who was around them growing up and what they had to overcome to get where they are in life. As well as the era that they grew up in and what was acceptable, understood, talked about, and normal in their society. This can help with accepting the people around you everyday. Understanding these aspects of their life can help you understand who they are and why they choose to do what they do.
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